Have you ever found yourself caught in the trap of chasing ‘deeper’ meaning in your conversations? It’s a common experience, and it’s my realization about chasing ‘depth’ and why I’m starting to embrace ‘boring’ conversations that I want to share. We often feel an internal push to get past the surface-level chatter, driven by a desire to connect on a more profound level. However, this constant pursuit can paradoxically make everything feel less significant.
Prefer to watch? I’ve put my video below or if you’re a reader simply continue reading the post.
The Unending Pursuit of Depth
The cycle often begins with a feeling of impatience. You’re in a conversation, and your mind is already jumping ahead, thinking, “Alright, let’s get this surface-level, boring part out of the way and get to something deeper.” This mindset establishes a pattern of always searching, never quite settling into the present moment of the interaction.
But you keep chasing the deeper, and the deeper, and the deeper. Each conversation becomes a quest for more profundity, and each moment of perceived depth is only a temporary stop on the way to an even more meaningful exchange. This continuous chase for what’s next can, ironically, leave you feeling perpetually unsatisfied with what is happening right now.
How ‘Deep’ Can Make Everything Feel ‘Shallow’
A strange consequence arises from this constant search for depth. When you are always striving for the most profound connection, everything else begins to feel inadequate by comparison. The simple, lighthearted, and everyday conversations start to lose their inherent value because they are relentlessly measured against an impossibly high standard of “depth.”
You keep chasing the deeper and the deeper, and then everything that isn’t at the greatest level of depth starts to feel surface level.
In reality, the distinction between “depth” and “surface level” is simply a label we assign to things based on how we personally value them. These are subjective judgments. When we relentlessly prioritize one over the other, we risk creating a mental framework where the vast majority of our human experiences are dismissed as not being good enough.
The Cosmic Joke and The Trap of Chasing ‘Deeper’ Meaning
Then, you might finally get to the deepest end of the spectrum. You’ve had the intense conversations and explored the complex spiritual and philosophical ideas you were seeking. And it is right there, at the pinnacle of your search, that an unexpected feeling often emerges. You realize you miss the very thing you were so quick to discard.
A thought might cross your mind, “Gosh darn, I just miss having a boring conversation about nothing.” You start to wish you could just enjoy a conversation for the simple sake of talking about something stupid and meaningless. In that moment of longing, you realize it’s all a cosmic joke. The entire frantic pursuit was based on a flawed premise.
The True Source of Value in Conversation
This journey ultimately reveals a fundamental truth. The only meaning or value to any conversation, or any experience for that matter, is simply the meaning we choose to ascribe to it as people. Nothing has inherent “depth” or “shallowness” outside of our own perception and judgment.
And so, if two people want to sit around and talk about something that we might personally deem spiritually meaningless, but they are enjoying it, that is the most valuable thing there is. The shared joy and connection in that moment are what truly matter. The ultimate value isn’t found in the topic of discussion, but in the simple, beautiful act of enjoying a moment with another person.
