The idea that my entire identity is just a ‘made up story’ can feel both terrifying and liberating. However, this powerful perspective reveals a profound truth; your identity is a story you can rewrite. Understanding this concept is the first step toward true personal freedom and conscious creation.
Prefer to watch? I’ve put my video below or if you’re a reader simply continue reading the post.
The Stories That Define Us
Stories are powerful. They lock us into an identity, a history, and a reason why we desire one thing but not another. Our fears around doing something, or not doing something, are also tied to these narratives. We constantly measure ourselves against the results dictated by the story we tell.
Most of this internal story is fabricated from other people’s expectations and the stories they’ve told us. This can come from direct experiences with them or from what we’ve heard them say about their own lives. Think about the things we believe we want a specific car, house, or relationship. Most of these desires stem from stories we tell ourselves about who we think we should be.
And the story of who we think we should be is largely made up of narratives from others in our life. In our early years, people told us what type of person we are, what’s good or bad, and what to do or not do. These stories come from everywhere family, friends, school, work, religion, politics, and even movies and TV. They all tell us something about who we should be and what life means.
How Our Narrative Limits Our Reality
We adopt little bits of these external stories, both the parts we like and sometimes the parts we don’t. From this, we construct a narrative that defines what is possible for us and what is not. Consequently, the infinite possibilities that could emerge from source consciousness become a tiny, narrow pinprick. Why? Because any new possibility has to fit our existing story. If it doesn’t fit, it gets filtered out. It’s simply not one of the probabilities that can manifest in your experience.
Your Identity Is A Story You Can Rewrite
This directly ties into how you can create new desires and new realities. You write yourself a new story. You can make it up to be anything you want. You can invent a story about something you think you want and then begin to play it out. As you live and experience this new narrative, you might realize, “Wait a second. Nope, this is not it.” And that’s okay. You can simply throw it out and write another one.
To do this effectively, two things must happen.
- You cannot attach your identity to the story.
- You have to have the power to change your identity.
Most of us have our identity deeply attached to our story. We take it as the absolute definition of who we are. The real freedom, however, comes in knowing a simple but profound truth.
It’s all made up. All the stories everybody tells themselves is made up. Everything that anybody thinks they want is made up.
If someone is passionate about something, they made up that passion, or it was made for them by their life circumstances. If they’re highly skilled, excited, or even living in depression with a story of “woe is me,” they made that up too. Life might have helped them make it up, but ultimately, it’s all a construct.
The Two Reactions: Powerlessness or Empowerment?
This realization can be a double-edged sword. If you tell this to the wrong person, it can really mess them up. They can’t handle the reality that we make it all up, and they miss the empowerment inherent in that fact. For some, hearing this leads to the question, “So what’s the point?” and they spiral.
Others hear it and think, “Okay, it’s all made up. That means I get to make it up then.” And they go write a new, more empowering story. Which one are you? Which one do you want to be?
I’ve been both of these people, and the second option is definitely better. Choosing the story of powerlessness leads to a never-ending depression. You think, “If it’s all made up, then I’m made up, which means I’m worthless. Nothing matters, there’s no purpose, and I might as well do nothing.” You spiral into a really shitty place.
However, as you’re dealing with this cosmic joke, a new realization can dawn. I realized, “Wait a second. This story of worthlessness is also a story I’m telling myself. It’s also made up, and I’m actively choosing it. What the fuck am I doing to myself?” If you find yourself stuck in a story that’s causing you to spiral, it’s a sign that a new chapter is needed. For those ready to break free from these repeating patterns, exploring resources like the “Break Free From Self Sabotage” training can provide the tools to start writing that new story. Check the schedule on the registration page to find the next available class.
Overcoming Your Nervous System’s Resistance
We have to be able to rewrite the story and change the identity, but we get very personal with them. The story frames our identity, and we believe that identity is who we are. So, if we try to just burn it and create a new one, our nervous system often triggers a visceral threat response. If we attempt to change the story, our nervous system might protest, saying, “No, no, no, that can’t happen because it doesn’t fit the formulated identity.”
Ultimately, the whole point of making choices is to write a new story. It’s to give yourself something to do, because the human experience needs something to do. You have the power to choose which story you live.
