I recently had a powerful realization that your identity isn’t who you are, but rather a ‘thing’ you repeatedly do. This concept completely changes how we can approach personal growth. Has anyone else consciously tried to rewire their personality? It’s a fascinating journey into the mechanics of our own minds.
Prefer to watch? I’ve put my video below or if you’re a reader simply continue reading the post.
The Neuroscience of Identity
There’s a foundational law of neuroscience that explains this perfectly. Every time you have a thought, a feeling, or perform an action, a specific set of neurons fires in a specific sequence. The Hebbian theory describes this as synaptic plasticity, proposing that “neurons that fire together wire together.” The more you repeat a thought or action, the stronger the connection between those neurons becomes.
Think of it like building a neural highway. Your identity is simply your most well-paved neural highway. It’s not about who you are innately; it’s about what you’ve practiced over and over again.
Why Your Identity Isn’t Who You Are, But What You Do
We often speak about our identity as if it’s a permanent, unchangeable noun. We say things like, “I’m an anxious person,” “I’m a procrastinator,” or “I’m not good with money.” We treat these labels as concrete facts about ourselves. But what if that’s not the whole story?
What if your identity isn’t a thing that you are, but a thing that you do over and over again?
This is fantastic news because it means you can consciously choose to stop paving the old road and begin paving a new one. You don’t have to fight the old identity. You simply make it obsolete by withdrawing your energy from it. This is a simple practice for conscious reality creation; where your energy goes, that’s what grows.
A 3-Step Practice to Rewire Your Brain
The next time you catch yourself thinking or acting from an old identity, for example, you start feeling that anxious overthinking happening, you must interrupt the circuit. Here is a simple but effective process to do just that.
- Interrupt the Pattern. The first step is to stop the automatic firing of the old neural pathway. A cool trick is to clap your hands together really sharply. This physical jolt creates a pattern interrupt, momentarily stopping the old thought loop.
- Ask a New Question. The old identity runs on old questions, like “What could go wrong?” Your new job is to ask a new kind of question. For example, “What if it could be easy?” or “What would the confident version of me do right now?”
- Take One Micro-Action. From that new identity, take one small action. Send the email you were overthinking. Speak up in the meeting. Do one pushup. Let it be really random because it creates an interrupt in your usual routine. This single action begins to fire a new sequence of neurons.
Casting a Vote for Your New Identity
Every time you complete this process, you’re casting a vote for your new identity. The first time you do this, it will likely feel silly, but just do it anyway. As you repeat it again and again, you will build a new superhighway in your brain.
Your identity isn’t who you are; it’s what you are choosing to be. Can you take one simple action to make that choice? The answer is probably a resounding yes. But can you do it consistently? Showing up for yourself is rare, but you can make it stick right now.
If you’re still here, you’re ready to make a change. A great next step is to join our Break Free from Self-Sabotage event that we have this week. I believe in you, but the real question is, do you believe in yourself? If you do choose to finally show up, I’ll see you there.
